ving what we believe. If you look for enough evidence that you are attractive you will find it, so start looking.

Exercise:

List the things you are good at, the things people say ‘she’s really good at that’, or what you think you are good at yourself. For example you might say I get on well with people, I am great at empathising with people, I love my job, I am kind, and I care a lot about animals. List everything.

Now pick the top five most important ones to you.

Or the next 3 weeks, see 21 days to a new habit , focus on your chosen 5 attributes. Every chance you get just remind yourself how good you are at (chosen attribute), see yourself being good at it, feel yourself being good at it. Make sure you do this every day an

Think about the people in your life who are attractive, not from TV or films, from real life. When I say attractive I mean the whole package, someone that draws you closer, someone you want to listen to when they speak, someone you like laughing with, and someone who is attractive in appearance. Take a few minutes to do this.

Of the people you picked as attractive how many of them are visually attractive, good to look at? I am sure there are a few who are not your cup of tea but you still find them attractive. Why is this?

Attractiveness is a state of mind!

It truly is. Think of some of the people for example on TV who may be conventionally unattractive but have that certain something that makes them attractive: For example my wife thinks James Belushi has something about him, and Adam Sandler, Jerry Lewis, Helen Miran, Karen from ‘Will and Grace’.

What makes people attractive is their confidence, their zest for life and their ‘I don’t give a shit what you think about me’ attitude.

How to change your feeling about yourself

A lot of people for years have told themselves they are not attractive and guess what; they won’t be to other people as well. You won’t attract people to you if you feel unattractive yourself. You have to stop the years of that little voice in your head saying’ I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m unattractive’, if you tell yourself that often enough you will be all those things.

From TODAY start telling yourself you are attractive. I don’t mean look in the mirror and say ‘I am attractive, I am attractive’, positive talking does not work like that. You have to see yourself in situations where people are attracted to you, you have to feel the emotions of those situations, and you have to tell yourself occasionally throughout the day that you attract the right kind of people towards you.

This may take a few weeks to get you really from the ‘unattractive mindset’ to ‘attractive mindset’. Due to the years of conditioning your mind has had it will find it difficult to give up on the image that you are unattractive.

Persevere

Keep going with the above exercise, everyday remind yourself how attractive you are. Think of all your best qualities and focus on them instead of focusing on the bad points about yourself, goodness knows we all have them but what makes the difference is that the attractive people don’t necessarily focus on them all the time.

I hate being around people when I was younger as I thought I was no good at talking, I thought people laughed at me, I thought I was no good. However the one thing I had going for me was relative good looks, and the only reason I knew this was because people kept on telling me and pretty soon I kept telling myself and pretty soon I really believed it. Then after years of self doubt I changed my inner talk to telling myself people did like me, people did think I was intelligent, I was funny etc.

It’s the inner talk that keeps us believing what we believe. If you look for enough evidence that you are attractive you will find it, so start looking.

Exercise:

List the things you are good at, the things people say ‘she’s really good at that’, or what you think you are good at yourself. For example you might say I get on well with people, I am great at empathising with people, I love my job, I am kind, and I care a lot about animals. List everything.

Now pick the top five most important ones to you.

Or the next 3 weeks, see 21 days to a new habit , focus on your chosen 5 attributes. Every chance you get just remind yourself how good you are at (chosen attribute), see yourself being good at it, feel yourself being good at it. Make sure you do this every day an

ushi has something about him, and Adam Sandler, Jerry Lewis, Helen Miran, Karen from ‘Will and Grace’.

What makes people attractive is their confidence, their zest for life and their ‘I don’t give a shit what you think about me’ attitude.

How to change your feeling about yourself

A lot of people for years have told themselves they are not attractive and guess what; they won’t be to other people as well. You won’t attract people to you if you feel unattractive yourself. You have to stop the years of that little voice in your head saying’ I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m unattractive’, if you tell yourself that often enough you will be all those things.

From TODAY start telling yourself you are attractive. I don’t mean look in the mirror and say ‘I am attractive, I am attractive’, positive talking does not work like that. You have to see yourself in situations where people are attracted to you, you have to feel the emotions of those situations, and you have to tell yourself occasionally throughout the day that you attract the right kind of people towards you.

This may take a few weeks to get you really from the ‘unattractive mindset’ to ‘attractive mindset’. Due to the years of conditioning your mind has had it will find it difficult to give up on the image that you are unattractive.

Persevere

Keep going with the above exercise, everyday remind yourself how attractive you are. Think of all your best qualities and focus on them instead of focusing on the bad points about yourself, goodness knows we all have them but what makes the difference is that the attractive people don’t necessarily focus on them all the time.

I hate being around people when I was younger as I thought I was no good at talking, I thought people laughed at me, I thought I was no good. However the one thing I had going for me was relative good looks, and the only reason I knew this was because people kept on telling me and pretty soon I kept telling myself and pretty soon I really believed it. Then after years of self doubt I changed my inner talk to telling myself people did like me, people did think I was intelligent, I was funny etc.

It’s the inner talk that keeps us believing what we believe. If you look for enough evidence that you are attractive you will find it, so start looking.

Exercise:

List the things you are good at, the things people say ‘she’s really good at that’, or what you think you are good at yourself. For example you might say I get on well with people, I am great at empathising with people, I love my job, I am kind, and I care a lot about animals. List everything.

Now pick the top five most important ones to you.

Or the next 3 weeks, see 21 days to a new habit , focus on your chosen 5 attributes. Every chance you get just remind yourself how good you are at (chosen attribute), see yourself being good at it, feel yourself being good at it. Make sure you do this every day an

f you are attractive. I don’t mean look in the mirror and say ‘I am attractive, I am attractive’, positive talking does not work like that. You have to see yourself in situations where people are attracted to you, you have to feel the emotions of those situations, and you have to tell yourself occasionally throughout the day that you attract the right kind of people towards you.

This may take a few weeks to get you really from the ‘unattractive mindset’ to ‘attractive mindset’. Due to the years of conditioning your mind has had it will find it difficult to give up on the image that you are unattractive.

Persevere

Keep going with the above exercise, everyday remind yourself how attractive you are. Think of all your best qualities and focus on them instead of focusing on the bad points about yourself, goodness knows we all have them but what makes the difference is that the attractive people don’t necessarily focus on them all the time.

I hate being around people when I was younger as I thought I was no good at talking, I thought people laughed at me, I thought I was no good. However the one thing I had going for me was relative good looks, and the only reason I knew this was because people kept on telling me and pretty soon I kept telling myself and pretty soon I really believed it. Then after years of self doubt I changed my inner talk to telling myself people did like me, people did think I was intelligent, I was funny etc.

It’s the inner talk that keeps us believing what we believe. If you look for enough evidence that you are attractive you will find it, so start looking.

Exercise:

List the things you are good at, the things people say ‘she’s really good at that’, or what you think you are good at yourself. For example you might say I get on well with people, I am great at empathising with people, I love my job, I am kind, and I care a lot about animals. List everything.

Now pick the top five most important ones to you.

Or the next 3 weeks, see 21 days to a new habit , focus on your chosen 5 attributes. Every chance you get just remind yourself how good you are at (chosen attribute), see yourself being good at it, feel yourself being good at it. Make sure you do this every day an

ll your best qualities and focus on them instead of focusing on the bad points about yourself, goodness knows we all have them but what makes the difference is that the attractive people don’t necessarily focus on them all the time.

I hate being around people when I was younger as I thought I was no good at talking, I thought people laughed at me, I thought I was no good. However the one thing I had going for me was relative good looks, and the only reason I knew this was because people kept on telling me and pretty soon I kept telling myself and pretty soon I really believed it. Then after years of self doubt I changed my inner talk to telling myself people did like me, people did think I was intelligent, I was funny etc.

It’s the inner talk that keeps us believing what we believe. If you look for enough evidence that you are attractive you will find it, so start looking.

Exercise:

List the things you are good at, the things people say ‘she’s really good at that’, or what you think you are good at yourself. For example you might say I get on well with people, I am great at empathising with people, I love my job, I am kind, and I care a lot about animals. List everything.

Now pick the top five most important ones to you.

Or the next 3 weeks, see 21 days to a new habit , focus on your chosen 5 attributes. Every chance you get just remind yourself how good you are at (chosen attribute), see yourself being good at it, feel yourself being good at it. Make sure you do this every day an

ving what we believe. If you look for enough evidence that you are attractive you will find it, so start looking.

Exercise:

List the things you are good at, the things people say ‘she’s really good at that’, or what you think you are good at yourself. For example you might say I get on well with people, I am great at empathising with people, I love my job, I am kind, and I care a lot about animals. List everything.

Now pick the top five most important ones to you.

Or the next 3 weeks, see 21 days to a new habit , focus on your chosen 5 attributes. Every chance you get just remind yourself how good you are at (chosen attribute), see yourself being good at it, feel yourself being good at it. Make sure you do this every day and at every opportunity.

I will write a follow up article on this topic as once you have mastered you inner talk on attractiveness you will be overwhelmed by the change it brings in your life. You will need to try and cope with the new you and it’s not as easy as you might think.

You can also apply this technique to all areas in your life.