Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one

After two months there, the President asked to speak to me. I did not think he even knew I existed. Sweat time. I was sure I would get the axe and I had no idea why.

“I need your help,” he said. I started to become confused and weak kneed. My being speechless, he continued: “We are having serious scheduling problems and I would like you to investigate. A fresh look at the problem may be useful.”

“Listen to this” he said, “It is a memo to the Sales Manager from the Production Manager.”

He read the memo “John: Do you want us to rush the rush job we are rushing now, or are we to rush the rush job you wanted us to rush before we rush the rush job we’re rushing now, or rush the rush job we were rushing before?”

With that he developed a twitch in his left eye. The man was rattled. He continued saying “We have two other serious problems. Quality on Mondays is horrible and we have high absenteeism on Fridays.”

Being capable of solving all the worlds’ problems, I took the assignment.

On the pretext of learning the operations I spent about a week in the scheduling and production departments. Quality was a minor problem except on Mondays. For the most part the suppliers delivered on time. High absenteeism was a mystery to me. Does not everyone like to work? I asked a fellow why he only worked four days a week. He replied, “Because I cannot live on three day’s pay.”

The senior scheduler had an interesting philosophy, not without merit. “Plan well for the days and let the nights be a surprise.”

Frankly, I could find little wrong except for the Monday and Friday problem. However, their scheduling factored in these problems. And the calculated delivery dates seemed reasonable but rarely achieved.

I suspected the planning yet I was at a loss. Then I remembered what General Eisenhower had told me. “Roe,” he said, “in preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” A wise man.

I also remember what my old friend Sherlock Homes had told me years ago. “Roe,” he said, “It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded even the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

But what was left to investigate? Then it struck me - the calendar was at fault. It was the calendar causing the problems. I recalled that in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII had a serious scheduling problem. He could not keep the planting season in sync with the calendar. Farmers could not plan their seeding and harvesting times based on the calendar.

The Pope, following my advice on process improvement of adding, improving or eliminating, he eliminated ten days in 1592. That worked fine for 150 years! In 1744 the British dropped another 12 days (giving rise to the twelve days of Christmas) and all is still in sync.

Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one ever mentions lost customers. Criminal.

Surprisingly, Finance did not have a complaint. They had a request: would I please have the 10th of the month follow the 20th? All their reports had to be in by the 10th of the month and with this change they would have an extra ten days to do their work.

Not surprisingly, I never heard from Engineering. It has been my experience that engineers rarely know or care what day it is.

Now came the really devious group. EH&S- Environmental, Health and Safety. Here were the deep yet warped thinkers, the real troublemakers. Beware of these people for they are a scurvy lot. Avoid them like the plague.

They wanted the 1st of the month to follow the 31st. “What on earth for?” I asked. “Well,” they replied, “We report accidents from the 1st to the 31st. This way the month would be over before it began. Voila! No accidents to report!”

Brilliant, What could I say?

Then a calm voice from the back spoke up. “We cannot do that for if we report no accident for a few months we will all be laid-off.” Good thinking. So I moved the 1st to a few days before the 31st. Now there would be a dramatic improvement but not perfect.

I said they were a devious lot. I was being cautious, trying to choose my words carefully. I am convinced EH&S is running a very clever extortion operation and is probably connected to the Mafia. They say, “Pay us more and we will do less. Pay more and there will be fewer accidents and fewer chemical spills. Don’t pay us and you will see accident, spills, and government visits will increase.” Get less for more money - that’s incredible. That’s extortion, pure and simple.

And they have a powerful lobby to write more and more complicated regulations. Imagine; in this time of deregulation these people have the power to increase regulations. Can you imagine the Finance department lobbying for more complicated tax regulations? Or the production people saying, “Pay us more and we will produce less?”

It must be extortion. Imagine: work and do nothing. My advice? Get a job there quick. After the first day on the job they all seem to be retired at full pay.

And it goes beyond this company. On my last visit to California I went to the Environmental Protection Agency headquarters in San Diego. It was a beautiful building. Huge. 2-3 floors, the cafeteria sat 300-400 people. It was a large, spacious and attractive building.

Now think it through. They are the EPA. Do you realize how much pollution was generated for the building’s construction? If they truly believed in protecting the environment, they would be working in tents, especially in earthquake prone California. What could be safer than living in tents? At least in the north we have the cold as an excuse.

In general my new and improved calendar had a few minor problems. We sometimes delivered products before receiving an order and occasionally are accused of being late before receiving an order.

What was the end result? What would you expect? I was promoted. The President retired early on a medical leave. The Production Manger simply disappeared. I inherited the President’s tic. Strangely enough I was never asked to help with scheduling again. What a waste of talent.

James Roe www.smartjobhunting.com A free web site.In Business Scheduling is Critical By James Roe 7/10/06

In my youth, many years ago, I worked for a medium size manufacturing company. I was, like all at that age, eager and knew it all. And some still call me a know it all.

After two months there, the President asked to speak to me. I did not think he even knew I existed. Sweat time. I was sure I would get the axe and I had no idea why.

“I need your help,” he said. I started to become confused and weak kneed. My being speechless, he continued: “We are having serious scheduling problems and I would like you to investigate. A fresh look at the problem may be useful.”

“Listen to this” he said, “It is a memo to the Sales Manager from the Production Manager.”

He read the memo “John: Do you want us to rush the rush job we are rushing now, or are we to rush the rush job you wanted us to rush before we rush the rush job we’re rushing now, or rush the rush job we were rushing before?”

With that he developed a twitch in his left eye. The man was rattled. He continued saying “We have two other serious problems. Quality on Mondays is horrible and we have high absenteeism on Fridays.”

Being capable of solving all the worlds’ problems, I took the assignment.

On the pretext of learning the operations I spent about a week in the scheduling and production departments. Quality was a minor problem except on Mondays. For the most part the suppliers delivered on time. High absenteeism was a mystery to me. Does not everyone like to work? I asked a fellow why he only worked four days a week. He replied, “Because I cannot live on three day’s pay.”

The senior scheduler had an interesting philosophy, not without merit. “Plan well for the days and let the nights be a surprise.”

Frankly, I could find little wrong except for the Monday and Friday problem. However, their scheduling factored in these problems. And the calculated delivery dates seemed reasonable but rarely achieved.

I suspected the planning yet I was at a loss. Then I remembered what General Eisenhower had told me. “Roe,” he said, “in preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” A wise man.

I also remember what my old friend Sherlock Homes had told me years ago. “Roe,” he said, “It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded even the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

But what was left to investigate? Then it struck me - the calendar was at fault. It was the calendar causing the problems. I recalled that in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII had a serious scheduling problem. He could not keep the planting season in sync with the calendar. Farmers could not plan their seeding and harvesting times based on the calendar.

The Pope, following my advice on process improvement of adding, improving or eliminating, he eliminated ten days in 1592. That worked fine for 150 years! In 1744 the British dropped another 12 days (giving rise to the twelve days of Christmas) and all is still in sync.

Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one e

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one ever mentions lost customers. Criminal.

Surprisingly, Finance did not have a complaint. They had a request: would I please have the 10th of the month follow the 20th? All their reports had to be in by the 10th of the month and with this change they would have an extra ten days to do their work.

Not surprisingly, I never heard from Engineering. It has been my experience that engineers rarely know or care what day it is.

Now came the really devious group. EH&S- Environmental, Health and Safety. Here were the deep yet warped thinkers, the real troublemakers. Beware of these people for they are a scurvy lot. Avoid them like the plague.

They wanted the 1st of the month to follow the 31st. “What on earth for?” I asked. “Well,” they replied, “We report accidents from the 1st to the 31st. This way the month would be over before it began. Voila! No accidents to report!”

Brilliant, What could I say?

Then a calm voice from the back spoke up. “We cannot do that for if we report no accident for a few months we will all be laid-off.” Good thinking. So I moved the 1st to a few days before the 31st. Now there would be a dramatic improvement but not perfect.

I said they were a devious lot. I was being cautious, trying to choose my words carefully. I am convinced EH&S is running a very clever extortion operation and is probably connected to the Mafia. They say, “Pay us more and we will do less. Pay more and there will be fewer accidents and fewer chemical spills. Don’t pay us and you will see accident, spills, and government visits will increase.” Get less for more money - that’s incredible. That’s extortion, pure and simple.

And they have a powerful lobby to write more and more complicated regulations. Imagine; in this time of deregulation these people have the power to increase regulations. Can you imagine the Finance department lobbying for more complicated tax regulations? Or the production people saying, “Pay us more and we will produce less?”

It must be extortion. Imagine: work and do nothing. My advice? Get a job there quick. After the first day on the job they all seem to be retired at full pay.

And it goes beyond this company. On my last visit to California I went to the Environmental Protection Agency headquarters in San Diego. It was a beautiful building. Huge. 2-3 floors, the cafeteria sat 300-400 people. It was a large, spacious and attractive building.

Now think it through. They are the EPA. Do you realize how much pollution was generated for the building’s construction? If they truly believed in protecting the environment, they would be working in tents, especially in earthquake prone California. What could be safer than living in tents? At least in the north we have the cold as an excuse.

In general my new and improved calendar had a few minor problems. We sometimes delivered products before receiving an order and occasionally are accused of being late before receiving an order.

What was the end result? What would you expect? I was promoted. The President retired early on a medical leave. The Production Manger simply disappeared. I inherited the President’s tic. Strangely enough I was never asked to help with scheduling again. What a waste of talent.

James Roe www.smartjobhunting.com A free web site.In Business Scheduling is Critical By James Roe 7/10/06

In my youth, many years ago, I worked for a medium size manufacturing company. I was, like all at that age, eager and knew it all. And some still call me a know it all.

After two months there, the President asked to speak to me. I did not think he even knew I existed. Sweat time. I was sure I would get the axe and I had no idea why.

“I need your help,” he said. I started to become confused and weak kneed. My being speechless, he continued: “We are having serious scheduling problems and I would like you to investigate. A fresh look at the problem may be useful.”

“Listen to this” he said, “It is a memo to the Sales Manager from the Production Manager.”

He read the memo “John: Do you want us to rush the rush job we are rushing now, or are we to rush the rush job you wanted us to rush before we rush the rush job we’re rushing now, or rush the rush job we were rushing before?”

With that he developed a twitch in his left eye. The man was rattled. He continued saying “We have two other serious problems. Quality on Mondays is horrible and we have high absenteeism on Fridays.”

Being capable of solving all the worlds’ problems, I took the assignment.

On the pretext of learning the operations I spent about a week in the scheduling and production departments. Quality was a minor problem except on Mondays. For the most part the suppliers delivered on time. High absenteeism was a mystery to me. Does not everyone like to work? I asked a fellow why he only worked four days a week. He replied, “Because I cannot live on three day’s pay.”

The senior scheduler had an interesting philosophy, not without merit. “Plan well for the days and let the nights be a surprise.”

Frankly, I could find little wrong except for the Monday and Friday problem. However, their scheduling factored in these problems. And the calculated delivery dates seemed reasonable but rarely achieved.

I suspected the planning yet I was at a loss. Then I remembered what General Eisenhower had told me. “Roe,” he said, “in preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” A wise man.

I also remember what my old friend Sherlock Homes had told me years ago. “Roe,” he said, “It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded even the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

But what was left to investigate? Then it struck me - the calendar was at fault. It was the calendar causing the problems. I recalled that in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII had a serious scheduling problem. He could not keep the planting season in sync with the calendar. Farmers could not plan their seeding and harvesting times based on the calendar.

The Pope, following my advice on process improvement of adding, improving or eliminating, he eliminated ten days in 1592. That worked fine for 150 years! In 1744 the British dropped another 12 days (giving rise to the twelve days of Christmas) and all is still in sync.

Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one

Not surprisingly, I never heard from Engineering. It has been my experience that engineers rarely know or care what day it is.

Now came the really devious group. EH&S- Environmental, Health and Safety. Here were the deep yet warped thinkers, the real troublemakers. Beware of these people for they are a scurvy lot. Avoid them like the plague.

They wanted the 1st of the month to follow the 31st. “What on earth for?” I asked. “Well,” they replied, “We report accidents from the 1st to the 31st. This way the month would be over before it began. Voila! No accidents to report!”

Brilliant, What could I say?

Then a calm voice from the back spoke up. “We cannot do that for if we report no accident for a few months we will all be laid-off.” Good thinking. So I moved the 1st to a few days before the 31st. Now there would be a dramatic improvement but not perfect.

I said they were a devious lot. I was being cautious, trying to choose my words carefully. I am convinced EH&S is running a very clever extortion operation and is probably connected to the Mafia. They say, “Pay us more and we will do less. Pay more and there will be fewer accidents and fewer chemical spills. Don’t pay us and you will see accident, spills, and government visits will increase.” Get less for more money - that’s incredible. That’s extortion, pure and simple.

And they have a powerful lobby to write more and more complicated regulations. Imagine; in this time of deregulation these people have the power to increase regulations. Can you imagine the Finance department lobbying for more complicated tax regulations? Or the production people saying, “Pay us more and we will produce less?”

It must be extortion. Imagine: work and do nothing. My advice? Get a job there quick. After the first day on the job they all seem to be retired at full pay.

And it goes beyond this company. On my last visit to California I went to the Environmental Protection Agency headquarters in San Diego. It was a beautiful building. Huge. 2-3 floors, the cafeteria sat 300-400 people. It was a large, spacious and attractive building.

Now think it through. They are the EPA. Do you realize how much pollution was generated for the building’s construction? If they truly believed in protecting the environment, they would be working in tents, especially in earthquake prone California. What could be safer than living in tents? At least in the north we have the cold as an excuse.

In general my new and improved calendar had a few minor problems. We sometimes delivered products before receiving an order and occasionally are accused of being late before receiving an order.

What was the end result? What would you expect? I was promoted. The President retired early on a medical leave. The Production Manger simply disappeared. I inherited the President’s tic. Strangely enough I was never asked to help with scheduling again. What a waste of talent.

James Roe www.smartjobhunting.com A free web site.In Business Scheduling is Critical By James Roe 7/10/06

In my youth, many years ago, I worked for a medium size manufacturing company. I was, like all at that age, eager and knew it all. And some still call me a know it all.

After two months there, the President asked to speak to me. I did not think he even knew I existed. Sweat time. I was sure I would get the axe and I had no idea why.

“I need your help,” he said. I started to become confused and weak kneed. My being speechless, he continued: “We are having serious scheduling problems and I would like you to investigate. A fresh look at the problem may be useful.”

“Listen to this” he said, “It is a memo to the Sales Manager from the Production Manager.”

He read the memo “John: Do you want us to rush the rush job we are rushing now, or are we to rush the rush job you wanted us to rush before we rush the rush job we’re rushing now, or rush the rush job we were rushing before?”

With that he developed a twitch in his left eye. The man was rattled. He continued saying “We have two other serious problems. Quality on Mondays is horrible and we have high absenteeism on Fridays.”

Being capable of solving all the worlds’ problems, I took the assignment.

On the pretext of learning the operations I spent about a week in the scheduling and production departments. Quality was a minor problem except on Mondays. For the most part the suppliers delivered on time. High absenteeism was a mystery to me. Does not everyone like to work? I asked a fellow why he only worked four days a week. He replied, “Because I cannot live on three day’s pay.”

The senior scheduler had an interesting philosophy, not without merit. “Plan well for the days and let the nights be a surprise.”

Frankly, I could find little wrong except for the Monday and Friday problem. However, their scheduling factored in these problems. And the calculated delivery dates seemed reasonable but rarely achieved.

I suspected the planning yet I was at a loss. Then I remembered what General Eisenhower had told me. “Roe,” he said, “in preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” A wise man.

I also remember what my old friend Sherlock Homes had told me years ago. “Roe,” he said, “It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded even the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

But what was left to investigate? Then it struck me - the calendar was at fault. It was the calendar causing the problems. I recalled that in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII had a serious scheduling problem. He could not keep the planting season in sync with the calendar. Farmers could not plan their seeding and harvesting times based on the calendar.

The Pope, following my advice on process improvement of adding, improving or eliminating, he eliminated ten days in 1592. That worked fine for 150 years! In 1744 the British dropped another 12 days (giving rise to the twelve days of Christmas) and all is still in sync.

Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one

James Roe www.smartjobhunting.com A free web site.In Business Scheduling is Critical By James Roe 7/10/06

In my youth, many years ago, I worked for a medium size manufacturing company. I was, like all at that age, eager and knew it all. And some still call me a know it all.

After two months there, the President asked to speak to me. I did not think he even knew I existed. Sweat time. I was sure I would get the axe and I had no idea why.

“I need your help,” he said. I started to become confused and weak kneed. My being speechless, he continued: “We are having serious scheduling problems and I would like you to investigate. A fresh look at the problem may be useful.”

“Listen to this” he said, “It is a memo to the Sales Manager from the Production Manager.”

He read the memo “John: Do you want us to rush the rush job we are rushing now, or are we to rush the rush job you wanted us to rush before we rush the rush job we’re rushing now, or rush the rush job we were rushing before?”

With that he developed a twitch in his left eye. The man was rattled. He continued saying “We have two other serious problems. Quality on Mondays is horrible and we have high absenteeism on Fridays.”

Being capable of solving all the worlds’ problems, I took the assignment.

On the pretext of learning the operations I spent about a week in the scheduling and production departments. Quality was a minor problem except on Mondays. For the most part the suppliers delivered on time. High absenteeism was a mystery to me. Does not everyone like to work? I asked a fellow why he only worked four days a week. He replied, “Because I cannot live on three day’s pay.”

The senior scheduler had an interesting philosophy, not without merit. “Plan well for the days and let the nights be a surprise.”

Frankly, I could find little wrong except for the Monday and Friday problem. However, their scheduling factored in these problems. And the calculated delivery dates seemed reasonable but rarely achieved.

I suspected the planning yet I was at a loss. Then I remembered what General Eisenhower had told me. “Roe,” he said, “in preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” A wise man.

I also remember what my old friend Sherlock Homes had told me years ago. “Roe,” he said, “It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded even the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

But what was left to investigate? Then it struck me - the calendar was at fault. It was the calendar causing the problems. I recalled that in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII had a serious scheduling problem. He could not keep the planting season in sync with the calendar. Farmers could not plan their seeding and harvesting times based on the calendar.

The Pope, following my advice on process improvement of adding, improving or eliminating, he eliminated ten days in 1592. That worked fine for 150 years! In 1744 the British dropped another 12 days (giving rise to the twelve days of Christmas) and all is still in sync.

Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one

Compared to the Pope and the British Empire, I only wanted to fiddle with the calendar, nothing major mind you, just a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there.

First, I eliminated Mondays. The day following Sunday was now Tuesday. Brilliant. Quality improved over night. Curing Fridayitis was a no-brainer. I reversed Thursdays and Fridays. With Fridays now being midweek there was little point in taking the day off. So the week now went Sunday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Thursday-Saturday.

Everyone enjoyed the four-day week. I was a hero! All went well for a few months. The Production Manager was pleased with the improved quality. However, he complained the missing Mondays was causing his deliveries to fall further and further behind. Hmmm. Should I add the four days a month back into the calendar? I could not call them Mondays so when were they to go?

In another flash of brilliance I add the four days to the end of the month. But what to call them? Certainly not Mondays. So I decided not to name them, but to number them. Following the 31st of the month they were called the 2nd 31st, the 3rd 31st, then the 4th and 5th 31st. The production department loved me.

All was going well until I had a visit from IT. Information Technology: the computer gurus. You know them, the group that has their Help Desk only staffed from 2am-4am, Tuesdays to Thursdays.

“What is with all these requests to change the calendar? You know us: we only work on projects we dream up. Right now we are working to correct a serious bug.” The bug was in a program comparable in importance to Windows 3.0 Solitaire. Even then, they never had the latest software.

“We also have to solve the year 2000 problem”

“But that is nearly fifty years away!” I cried. “Yes, we know. A difficult problem.” The solution seemed obvious. If I can fiddle a little with the calendar, why not fiddle some more? So I eliminated the year 2000. Who would know? They were so please they extend the Help Desk hours to include Saturdays and Sundays.

Who knocked next at my door but the Human Resources people? They did not want anything. The inventors of the Annual Performance Review were just wandering the halls lost, as usual. I have always maintained it would be cheaper to fire the lot and simply give us all an annual 10% increase. Don’t you agree?

Next came a visit from Finance. They were totally confused. Apparently I was stressing their limited ability of adding, subtracting, and complaining. A sad condition. They remind me of the bird who flew backwards: it was not interested in where it was going, only where it had been. Finance only measures what can be measured, not what should be measured. Have you ever seen a list of the most important thing of all, lost customers? Of all the expensive, wasteful things is a lost customer. Why did we loose them? No one ever mentions lost customers. Criminal.

Surprisingly Finance did not have a complaint. They had a request: would I please have the 10th of the month follow the 20th? All their reports had to be in by the 10th of the month and with this change they would have an extra ten days to do their work.

Not surprisingly, I never heard from Engineering. It has been my experience that engineers rarely know or care what day it is.

Now came the really devious group. EH&S- Environmental, Health and Safety. Here were the deep yet warped thinkers, the real troublemakers. Beware of these people for they are a scurvy lot. Avoid them like the plague.

They wanted the 1st of the month to follow the 31st. “What on earth for?” I asked. “Well,” they replied, “We report accidents from the 1st to the 31st. This way the month would be over before it began. Voila! No accidents to report!”

Brilliant, What could I say?

Then a calm voice from the back spoke up. “We cannot do that for if we report no accident for a few months we will all be laid-off.” Good thinking. So I moved the 1st to a few days before the 31st. Now there would be a dramatic improvement but not perfect.

I said they were a devious lot. I was being cautious, trying to choose my words carefully. I am convinced EH&S is running a very clever extortion operation and is probably connected to the Mafia. They say, “Pay us more and we will do less. Pay more and there will be fewer accidents and fewer chemical spills. Don’t pay us and you will see accident, spills, and government visits will increase.” Get less for more money - that’s incredible. That’s extortion, pure and simple.

And they have a powerful lobby to write more and more complicated regulations. Imagine; in this time of deregulation these people have the power to increase regulations. Can you imagine the Finance department lobbying for more complicated tax regulations? Or the production people saying, “Pay us more and we will produce less?”

It must be extortion. Imagine: work and do nothing. My advice? Get a job there quick. After the first day on the job you all seem to be retired at full pay.

And it goes beyond this company. On my last visit to California I went to the Environmental Protection Agency headquarters in San Diego. It was a beautiful building. Huge. 2-3 floors, the cafeteria sat 300-400 people. It was a large, spacious and attractive building.

Now think it through. They are the EPA. Do you realize how much pollution was generated for the building’s construction? If they truly believed in protecting the environment, they would be working in tents, especially in earthquake prone California. What could be safer than living in tents? At least in the north we have the cold as an excuse.

In general my new and improved calendar had a few minor problems. We sometimes delivered products before receiving an order and occasionally are accused of being late before receiving an order.

What was the end result? What would you expect? I was promoted. The President retired early on a medical leave. The Production Manger simply disappeared. I inherited the President’s tic. Strangely enough I was never asked to help with scheduling again. What a waste of talent.

James Roe©2006 7/10/06