to feel inadequate as an urban step mom. In my situation, my partner has a pair of six year old twins. Just the other day we were all out at a community function looking like a regular family unit, when someone commented to one of the boys, “ask your mom if you can have a cookie” to which he indignantly piped up “she’s not my mom”. The room suddenly fell silent and awkwardness washed over It isn’t as if single successful career women go out looking for a guy with kids. It usually just so happens that if you are single and successful and female, chances are you are meeting men later in life, and later in life, most available men, are divorced with kids. Although this is a growing trend, many of us who find ourselves in this situation pioneer through this new dating frontier.

For a childless woman who has only ever focused on her career and other selfish pursuits, the challenges of the urban step mom are far more demanding than the average climb of the corporate ladder. By nature, the single successful career woman is used to being in control, commanding attention and respect and getting lots of accolades for her work. With kids and ex wives running the show on the home front, all those perks go out the window as an urban step mom.

Before you reach for “Step Mom’s for Dummies” in pursuit of a quick fix for your frustration and overwhelm, the urban step mom needs to know that many of these books do not take into account the specific nuances of this demographic niche, often focusing on blended families, another social quagmire, but none the less, not helpful for these otherwise high powered execs.

But don’t throw the briefcase out with the bath water. There are some similarities between being successful in business and being a successful urban step mom. For example, don’t take it personally. You can’t do it in business and you can’t do it in life. There are many occasions to have hurt feelings, feel left out and to feel inadequate as an urban step mom. In my situation, my partner has a pair of six year old twins. Just the other day we were all out at a community function looking like a regular family unit, when someone commented to one of the boys, “ask your mom if you can have a cookie” to which he indignantly piped up “she’s not my mom”. The room suddenly fell silent and awkwardness washed over

For a childless woman who has only ever focused on her career and other selfish pursuits, the challenges of the urban step mom are far more demanding than the average climb of the corporate ladder. By nature, the single successful career woman is used to being in control, commanding attention and respect and getting lots of accolades for her work. With kids and ex wives running the show on the home front, all those perks go out the window as an urban step mom.

Before you reach for “Step Mom’s for Dummies” in pursuit of a quick fix for your frustration and overwhelm, the urban step mom needs to know that many of these books do not take into account the specific nuances of this demographic niche, often focusing on blended families, another social quagmire, but none the less, not helpful for these otherwise high powered execs.

But don’t throw the briefcase out with the bath water. There are some similarities between being successful in business and being a successful urban step mom. For example, don’t take it personally. You can’t do it in business and you can’t do it in life. There are many occasions to have hurt feelings, feel left out and to feel inadequate as an urban step mom. In my situation, my partner has a pair of six year old twins. Just the other day we were all out at a community function looking like a regular family unit, when someone commented to one of the boys, “ask your mom if you can have a cookie” to which he indignantly piped up “she’s not my mom”. The room suddenly fell silent and awkwardness washed over

show on the home front, all those perks go out the window as an urban step mom.

Before you reach for “Step Mom’s for Dummies” in pursuit of a quick fix for your frustration and overwhelm, the urban step mom needs to know that many of these books do not take into account the specific nuances of this demographic niche, often focusing on blended families, another social quagmire, but none the less, not helpful for these otherwise high powered execs.

But don’t throw the briefcase out with the bath water. There are some similarities between being successful in business and being a successful urban step mom. For example, don’t take it personally. You can’t do it in business and you can’t do it in life. There are many occasions to have hurt feelings, feel left out and to feel inadequate as an urban step mom. In my situation, my partner has a pair of six year old twins. Just the other day we were all out at a community function looking like a regular family unit, when someone commented to one of the boys, “ask your mom if you can have a cookie” to which he indignantly piped up “she’s not my mom”. The room suddenly fell silent and awkwardness washed over

ne the less, not helpful for these otherwise high powered execs.

But don’t throw the briefcase out with the bath water. There are some similarities between being successful in business and being a successful urban step mom. For example, don’t take it personally. You can’t do it in business and you can’t do it in life. There are many occasions to have hurt feelings, feel left out and to feel inadequate as an urban step mom. In my situation, my partner has a pair of six year old twins. Just the other day we were all out at a community function looking like a regular family unit, when someone commented to one of the boys, “ask your mom if you can have a cookie” to which he indignantly piped up “she’s not my mom”. The room suddenly fell silent and awkwardness washed over

to feel inadequate as an urban step mom. In my situation, my partner has a pair of six year old twins. Just the other day we were all out at a community function looking like a regular family unit, when someone commented to one of the boys, “ask your mom if you can have a cookie” to which he indignantly piped up “she’s not my mom”. The room suddenly fell silent and awkwardness washed over me.

Secondly, take breaks. We know in business, if you don’t take care of yourself, you burn out. Most of us believe that hard work makes us successful. So, when a friend of mine was put in the situation of dating a man with kids, she threw herself into the role. She did the laundry for the family, cooked the meals, and drove them to and from their activities. She neglected her friends, her exercise routine and her down time. Her whole world crashed when she woke up one morning to the kids pulling on her bed sheets and she couldn’t get out of bed. When she finally got up, she went to the gym. There was much resistance from the family, but she decided to go every day, and she also scheduled nights out with her friends, and insisted on time alone. The family had a hard time adjusting, but she knew it was the only way for her to survive.

And thirdly, love what you do. The women that I know in this situation all love their careers. Similarly, all of them have found it is key to survival as an urban step mom, to fully embrace and accept everyone in this dynamic. First and foremost, it is key to have a strong, loving bond with your partner. It is very important to stand united with him when in the family setting and to have a fun, healthy, happy relationship when the kids are not around. This applies to the kids as well. Even if you have no experience with children, now’s the time to get into their world. Get on board with the wonder, the awe, the joy that these little people see the world with. Many of these urban moms would like to fi